Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
