yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
