the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
