we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
