I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
