Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
