Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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