Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
being pregnant is like rehab
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize