This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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