Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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