Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I think I am morally bankrupt
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
