You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
It's not a walk of shame if you run
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
