apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
We had sex on a dog bed..
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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