just tell him i said nine months
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
