C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
