how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
