oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize