ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
