oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
if only i could text you this smell
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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