There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
