For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
