come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
