Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
