I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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