well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
