how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
