are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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