Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
