Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Sorry about my life...
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
that is very illegal...i love you.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
