This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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