yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
