Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
