you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
