i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
