I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
