first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
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