apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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