Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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