..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
