Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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