party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Randomize
