If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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