that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
