why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
