Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
