So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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