Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
