It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
