Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
