So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
