pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize