It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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