Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
