I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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