have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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