You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
