38 yer olds are good kisserssss
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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