it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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