how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
