she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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